Lead Lightly: Balancing confidence and humility
Confidence gets you heard. Humility makes people listen.
This month, we’re digging into the paradox that makes leaders magnetic; confident enough to act, humble enough to listen.
In high-stakes change, the temptation is to pick a lane. Go bold and barrel forward. Or go cautious and consult widely. But the most effective leaders know it's worth trying to find the middle ground.
Here are five ways to find that balance; and lead with both backbone and heart.
#1: Show your human side
Confidence isn't swagger or having it all together. True confidence is leading even when you’re not 100% sure. Some of the best leaders I’ve coached admit they’ve had to lead teams through decisions while thinking quietly: “this could all go sideways.”
Try this: In your next team check-in, name one thing you don’t have the answer to yet. Maybe it’s a direction you're still testing. Maybe it's a decision you’re sitting with. Maybe it's a mistake and you're still learning how to correct it. Own it out loud. Let people see that being experienced or senior doesn’t mean being perfect or bulletproof.
💡 Insight: people follow what feels real and authentic. Vulnerability breeds trust. And trust is rocket fuel for high performance.
#2: Ask more, tell less
Yes, you're paid to decide. But your best ideas? It's unlikely you came up with them on your own. Confident leaders don’t need to be the smartest voice, they know how to unlock the wisdom of others.
Try this: In your next meeting, replace a statement with a genuine question:
“What’s a perspective we might be missing?”
“What would it look like if we flipped our current approach?”
Then pause. Resist the urge to jump in. Let the silence do some heavy lifting. Your team will speak up given the chance.
💡 Insight: curiosity doesn’t undermine confidence. It strengthens it because you’re secure enough to not have all the answers.
You’re paid to create better outcomes, and that comes from asking better questions.
#3: Celebrate team wins
Confidence loves the spotlight. Humility knows when to pass the mic. When leaders take the credit, teams switch off. But when leaders shine a light on others, performance lifts across the board.
Try this: Think of a recent moment someone on your team quietly stepped up: solved a challenge, held the fort, made something better. Name it. Tell the story. Share how it made you feel; yes, feelings. Not just the results. Was it pride or happiness, or maybe even relief. Naming emotions shows your human side and reminds people that their impact matters on a personal as well as an organisational level.
💡 Insight: culture is built in moments like these. Recognition is fuel. Especially when it’s specific, timely, real and heartfelt.
#4: Ask for feedback before the sh#t hits the fan
Confidence says “I’ve got this.” Humility asks, “Could I be doing this better?”. Don’t wait until things are off the rails to ask how you’re doing. Great leaders build feedback loops before they need them. That’s not weakness, it’s foresight.
Try this: ask a peer or team member: “what’s one thing I could change that would help us work better together?” Then just say thanks. No caveats. No defence.
💡 Insight: feedback is a leadership goldmine. But only if you’re open enough to hear it when it whispers, not just when it shouts. Remember, the feedback you get early will reduces drama later.
#5: Stay grounded in success
Celebrate the win. Pop the champagne. Then, come back to earth. Success can make you sloppy if you don’t pause to understand why it worked.
Try this: after a big moment or win, run a quick debrief. Ask:
“What exactly helped us succeed?”
“What do we need to carry forward and protect as we grow?”
Make it a habit. Build your success muscle, not just your success story.
💡 Insight: success can create complacency or possible future blind spots if you don’t stop to look around and take the learnings along the way. Recognising the patterns will help you grow and learn faster.
So, where do you naturally lean: confidence or humility? And what would it look like to stretch into the other this month?
Your growth edge probably lives there.